Mad World
by HerNamewasAlice
Summary: "And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad, the dreams of which I'm dying are the best I ever had."They don't understand. They don't understand anything about him. They don't. They would never know how much he felt when he was taken. It's a mad world. A mad, mad world.


**Summary:** _"And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad, the dreams of which I'm dying are the best I ever had."__They don't understand. They don't understand anything about him. They don't. They would never know how much he felt when he was taken.  
_

* * *

**Mad World.  
**

* * *

_"All around me are familiar faces_  
_ Worn out places, worn out faces_  
_ Bright and early for their daily races_  
_ Going nowhere, going nowhere_  
_ Their tears are filling up their glasses_  
_ No expression, no expression_  
_ Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow_  
_ No tomorrow, no tomorrow_  
_ And I find it kinda funny_  
_ I find it kinda sad_  
_ The dreams in which I'm dying_  
_ Are the best I've ever had_  
_ I find it hard to tell you_  
_ I find it hard to take_  
_ When people run in circles_  
_ It's a very, very mad world mad world"_

_-Mad World by Gary Jules_

* * *

They don't understand.

They don't understand anything about him.

He was taken. Replaced. Stolen from eight years of his life. No one knew how he felt. All they tell him was to get over his problems. But they don't know what he was going through. How could he get over his problems when he couldn't solve them? How could he when he was stuck eight years in the past while being in the present. He was supposed to be twenty three but he was physically fifteen. He was supposed to grow up with his friends. Go to college. Become a greater hero than he could ever imagine. Enjoy the best years of his life with the people he loved. But he didn't. His clone did. His clone live his life and Roy couldn't have those years that were taken by Lex Luthor. He didn't blame the clone. At least the clone cared when no one else did. At least the clone saved him. How do you think he feels? When his friends are grown up and they're now adults while he's still stuck...and lost. Confused. How do you think he feels? To find out that the people he loved died while he was frozen? You don't know.

You don't.

You would never know how much he felt.

And everyone expects him to move on - to be happy - to go on with life as if nothing ever happened.

But it did.

He doesn't know who he is anymore. And the people he knew his whole life - the people that are still here - he doesn't know them anymore. They've changed. Everyone does in time. You start as one person but throughout stages in your life, you become different people, a shadow of yourself. He doesn't know anyone anymore. He doesn't even have his best friends anymore. They were far away. They lost connection with the clone. They were different people. They were not at his mentality.

He feels like a stranger in the team.

The little children he knew; like Dick and Wally, they were taller than him, older than him. They weren't the same. And Roy couldn't respect them because he was supposed to be older than them. He was supposed to be the leader, not take orders. And somehow despite his mentality of fifteen years, when he was people "his own age" he felt older and out of place. He didn't belong with anyone. Not with people that were his real age and not with people that were biologically his own age.

No one knew how he felt.

No one knew the pain he experienced.

No one understood his fears.

When he was freed and escaped, the first thing he did was search for her.

Donna Troy.

She was his girlfriend before he was taken.

He spent days looking for her. Roy didn't care how long it would take. He just wanted to see her and apologize for lost time. She was his first kiss, first girlfriend. She was the only person that understood him. The idea of the clone being with her doesn't occur to him. The only thought that was in his mind was to see her again. He found her in a matter of only four days. She was shopping alone in an outdoor mall. It was raining and she was wearing a red coat and had an umbrella. She had a few bags. What scared him was that the person he saw, it wasn't what he remembered. She used to be a tomboy and brash and wild but this person, she wasn't. This person was feminine, with designer clothes and carrying shopping bags. She was older, as he expected but he didn't expect her to be so beautiful. She grew in the time he had lost, her features sharpened - her face covered and painted in makeup she was taller than him even.

"Donna?" he said, slowly coming out of the shadows. His once confident and fearless nature faded and he was filled with shyness and fright. He felt like Peter Pan visiting his beloved Wendy but to only find her grown and no longer the girl in his dreams. Seeing her, it was only a reminder to Roy of how much he went through and that he could never get the things and people he loved back.

The woman stopped and turned to him. "Roy?" she breathed, her mouth dropping. "Is that...is that you?"

Roy tried to take step closer to her but he couldn't. He was frozen from the shock and pain. There was this naive thought he had...that maybe she would stay the same too. "It's me, the real me."

"I know about it, about what happened." His ears started to bleed. Everyone knew. Everyone did. But no one visited him when the clone found him. The only person that visited him was Oliver and the clone. She should have visited him. She should have. "But I didn't-I didn't-

"It's okay," he said. There was a lump in his throat.

Donna closed her eyes and exhaled. Her face was whitened and her eyes were dilated from shock. "Would you...would you like to get a cup of coffee with me?"

He nodded. "Yeah," his voice broke out. "Yeah, I would like that."

* * *

She took him to their coffee shop. It wasn't their coffee shop but they called it their coffee shop because they had their first date there. It wasn't really a date. It was after they had beat down criminals and he asked her to get a cup of coffee with him and she accepted. They literally went there, still in their costumes but they didn't care. "So," she said, her eyes wondering around. "How've...you been?" she was attempting for a conversation.

He pulled out her chair for her, like he always did. He was always a gentleman with her. Before they were together, they used to bicker a lot, if you could believe it. "Just trying to collect," he half smiled.

"That's good," she said.

The worker called out their order.

"Let me get it," he said, already getting up. "It's funny," he laughed to himself. It was bittersweet. "That you still like the same thing." Mocha frappucino. Bittersweet.

She smiled. "So do you. I remember, you like just ice coffee with cream. You hate sugar in your coffee and you like just a little bit of cream."

"Yeah."

There was a long silence.

He looked around the coffee shop, taking a sip of his coffee. Everything...was still the same - the same as he remembered. Same smell. Same scratch marks. Same worn out furniture. It made him feel relieved. "I remember this place," he said out loud. "Do you remember this place?" he asked, his heart was beating rapidly.

"Of course. You think I would forget?" she raised her voice slightly and it made him smile. He saw traces of the fifteen year old girl with the fly away ponytail. "How can I? And we're sitting in the same place where we had our first date," she started to laugh. "I remember. We finished off a mission and we went here - still in costumes - dirty and muddy from fighting - everyone was staring at us but we didn't care. We just ordered coffee and scones and we sat here - this very table and we had a long conversation and laughed. We must have been here that day for hours," she smiled and sighed.

"We did," he grinned. He was glad that she remembered. "I missed you, Donna."

"I missed you too."

He put his hand on hers. It must have looked strange for him to put his hand on someone who was physically older but he didn't care. "When I was freed, the first thing I thought about was you and if you were alright-

"I'm getting married," she pulled her hand away from him. Her eyes were watering. He locked his eyes on her. She looked confused too.

"Oh," he said blankly. It broke his heart. "Well, you have the right and all. Is it the other Roy?"

She shook her head. "No. I'm marrying a man named Terry."

"Oh." He gulped his coffee. "When...when the other Roy was left to...live...did...you guys date?"

"Yes," she swallowed her cheeks in. It was difficult for her to say in front of him. "We did."

"What happened between you guys?" he asked. He was concerned because the other Roy was a copy of him and the other Roy should love Donna the way he did. Donna was an amazing girl. Smart. A natural leader. Strong. Intelligent. And fun.

She went pale and dropped her cup to the table. "I-I," her eyes stared at her cup. "I don't really...like to talk about it - but...we dated for a long time - remember, I didn't know he was a clone -but we dated for four years but...I guess...he outgrew me." Tears were welling from her eyes. Roy frowned. He never seen her cry before. "We were nineteen years old and...we - me and the other Roy, we were planning to get married but...he fell in love with someone...else. Last time I heard about him, he's back with his wife and has a daughter."

"I'm sorry." That was all he could say. "If it was me, I wouldn't do that to you."

Donna didn't have a reaction.

"If I could," his eyes were burning. "I would have found a way to go back and change things."

"You know you can't go back. We can't go back. It's not that simple. I love Terry and we can't go back. We're on different paths Roy. I'm not the little girl you once knew. I'm twenty three years old and I'm not Wonder Girl anymore. I'm Troia. And there's so much about me that will take more than one day to know about."

He wanted to scream. He wanted to throw the tables around. Break glass. Smash everything. Hearing her, hearing her with someone else - it snapped his mind. "If there was...if there was a way for us to go back," his hands tightening to white knuckled fists. It was hard. So hard. It was so hard for him to control his temper and depression. "Would you take it? Would you...be with me?" he was standing up and he was shaking. He felt like him - Peter Pan. He felt the anger and betrayal and loneliness Peter felt when he found out his dear Wendy had grown up and became a wife and mother.

She swallowed hard but remained calm and seated. "Roy, relax. Relax, Roy," she cautioned. For a moment he saw her - the fifteen year old her - with her high ponytail instead of her hair down - her skinny arms and legs and bird like body - and her with scabs on her cheek and knees from fighting. And he saw her, the little fifteen year old girl, trying to calm him down, like she always did.

"Answer me," he gritted his teeth, his eyes narrowing. Angry. He felt so angry. Alone. He felt so alone.

He felt it.

They felt it.

Everyone was staring at them.

"Roy," her voice was soft. "Relax." He's staring into her eyes and lips - her solid diamond blue eyes and her red lips. The little freckles she had.

He sat down only for her to grab him and hold him. She was the only one that could calm him down. Only her. No one could get him to calm down. Only her. She held him and they were quiet. She always held him when he got this angry. She always did. "I feel so alone," he said dejectedly. "Everyone has gone away."

"No, that's not true."

A tear trickled down from his eye. It was the first time he cried since he was found. He didn't cry when he learned he was used as an animal. He didn't cry when people he loved stopped searching for him. He didn't cry when he learned someone was taking his place. "Even you," he rasped. She used to be this nerdy girl -this nerdy, bookish girl that wanted to be like her older sister and wanted to be a leader - the girl he fell for but she wasn't anymore. There before him was a girl, a girl with lavish things.

"No, not me."

He broke away and snorted. "Are you kidding? Look at you! This isn't you! You with a damn Gucci purse. You with your diamond tennis bracelet and huge ring. You with fancy clothes. You with your freaking iPhone with a designer case. You with your hair like that. You with makeup - you used to be the girl that told me that she would never wear makeup or dresses because they were degrading! We used to make fun of those people - those people - those girly girls with no minds. But now, you're one of them!"

"I admit that I've changed but I'm still the same person. Roy, you shouldn't lash out at me or people because you're hurt. Don't get me wrong, you have the right to be, but you don't have the right to scream at people that care for you."

"I thought you were different. But you're just like anyone else."

Her eyes narrowed. "STOP IT!" she screamed. The whole coffee shop went silent. "Stop it! Don't compare me to anyone else by how I look. You don't even know me anymore! If you would stop fueling your temper and anger at people that love you more than life itself, then maybe you would listen and know that they're trying to help you!"

He left. He left her there, alone.

He knew it was the last time he would see her.

* * *

They didn't understand.

They didn't understand anything about him.

But then, something happened.

There was this moment, this one moment, where he felt happiness for once.

_He was watching them, Mal and Karen. They were kissing. There was a twinge of ache in his heart. Kissing...the first and last person he kissed was Donna. He brushed it aside and painted a smirk on his face. "What do I have to do to get that reward?" he said cheekily. And from the corner of his eye, the new Wonder Girl quickly planted a kiss on his cheek. It was out of nowhere. It was chaste kiss, harmless and meaningless but it meant so much to him...it made him smiled. He hadn't smiled in years. He watched her the new Wonder Girl walk past him and something - something in him - was smiling. He couldn't explain it but everything in his body...it felt like all his body parts were smiling. It was like a spark in his heart. It was only a kiss on a cheek, but it was like fireworks to him."It's a start," he said dryly but he couldn't hide his excitement or gratefulness._

She noticed him. She liked him too and it made him happy_. _Cassie - that was her name. She was really pretty and she was "near" his "age." He didn't cared much about her since he barely knew her until she kissed him. He liked her automatically. It wasn't just because she kissed him, it was because he admired her boldness. He admired her headstrong attitude. But she was the new Wonder Girl and...he didn't know what he was feeling. Did he like her because she was the new Wonder Girl? Did he like her because she sort of reminds him of Donna? She was different though. She wasn't thrill seeker and she was so into confrontation and she loved living on the edge. Just like him. And he liked how she was the only one that treated him normally. Other members his "age" were intimidated by him but she wasn't.

And she was really funny. Unlike Donna, Cassie was out of control like him. She was so wild and free and he liked that. She was someone that he connect to. He did everything - after all the mess with the team was sorted out, he did everything to talk to her. She was easy to talk too. They were very flirtatious with each other and he couldn't help but to be drawn to that part about her. When he was with her, he forgot about everything that bothered him. "So," he began, dragging his word, slurring it out. He followed her, leaving them to be apart by one feet. "What do I have to do to get a kiss on the lips?"

She smirked and turned to him. "Depends," she said slyly, batting her eyes. "What are you willing to do for it?"

"Anything," he grinned and he meant it.

"Well," she said, pulling him by his shirt. His heart was beating a lot. "I'm kind of an old fashion girl, Arsenal. A couple of decent dates and I _might_ give you a kiss."

He smiled. "Well," he said, tossing his head side to side. "How do you feel about tomorrow?"

Cassie pursed her lips and half smiled. "I would like that. Where?"

"Anywhere you want."

"Time?"

"Two in the afternoon."

"That's such a long time," she went on her tiptoes. "So, to ease the wait, I think you deserve a little reward for waiting." Cassie gave him another kiss on the cheek but on the other side.

"How about another?" he said, touching her lips.

"I think someone's getting a little too greedy-

She paused.

Cassie frowned. "I better go, Diana is calling me."

He sighed but nodded. "See you tomorrow, Blondie." The smile on his face vanished. Did he truly like her? Or did he like her because she was the new Wonder Girl? Did he like her because she reminded him of Donna? Did he like her because he felt lonely? Did he truly like her? "I guess I would have to find out tomorrow," he said to himself.

Did he like her beyond the fact that she reminded him of Donna?

Did he like her beyond the fact that he was lonely and she kissed him?...

...

...

...

...

...

He did.

* * *

_**The...End?**_

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**A/N: Tell me what you guys think?  
**

**Should I continue?**


End file.
